{"id":1138,"date":"2023-06-16T19:54:41","date_gmt":"2023-06-16T09:54:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/behindcloseddoors81.wordpress.com\/?p=1138"},"modified":"2024-07-12T21:47:55","modified_gmt":"2024-07-12T11:47:55","slug":"blurred-lines","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/secretsbehindcloseddoors.com\/index.php\/2023\/06\/16\/blurred-lines\/","title":{"rendered":"Blurred Lines"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When you tell women that you are off limits, that noone will ever get to know the real you, that they shouldn’t be sliding into your dms at all and that becomes the message that you are constantly presenting to the public – they are going to believe you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you then decide to entertain them when they do<\/strong> slide into your dms, or if you decide to slide into theirs, these women are going to think they are an exception to your<\/strong> rule. Because you aren’t telling them you are opening up emotionally to multiple women, are you? You aren’t telling them you are sexting half the women on your discord, are you? You aren’t being clear at all<\/strong> about what you are doing in private with your fanbase. These women who you “open up emotionally”<\/em> to, “flirt with”<\/em> or “even more”<\/em> are obviously going to assume they might just be special to you. Because you don’t do that, right? You’ve always said you don’t do that<\/em>. <\/strong>They shouldn’t be dming you. They shouldn’t be trying to get to know you, let alone be sexting you. Of course they might leap to the conclusion that they could be special in some way. It’s not exactly a big leap to make. This is why we say you are being intentionally obtuse. You are purposefully disregarding your role in everything that has occurred over the past three years. You are ignoring the fact you are the one who set up the perfect environment for the emotional exploitation of these women.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You sit there and you cast aspersions on these women. You attack their mental state, claiming they are delusional and confused. Undesirable, unhinged, crazy, unhealthy, rejected, unattractive, dorks, weirdos, morons, losers, psychotic, pathological, obsessed, liars, dumbasses. Have I missed any?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You created a community and promoted it as “a safe space for women”. <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Then you take absolutely no <\/strong>responsibility when the women you are fucking around with in private become confused about the situation. Congratulations:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You are the spider<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Why am I rehashing this again? Because, apparently, I need to. Right now he and his flying monkeys are running around spreading misinformation, victim-blaming, cherry-picking, posting strawman fallacies and false narratives in an attempt to deflect from what is the main issue in all this. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He’s posting subtweets and leading questions to his accounts and his loyal followers are lapping it up, trashing those of us who are trying to help people. People they used to know. People who used to be their friends. They are trashing the women who have come forward and heightening the fear and hesitation that already exists in the minds of those who haven’t. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They are encouraging him and actively assisting him in silencing the women who are coming forward and those of us supporting them. And, more importantly, preventing those who haven’t. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the worst thing? Most of them know. They know exactly who he’s referring to every time he posts those leading questions. They know exactly who he’s referring to when they read his disturbingly extensive wall of subtweets. They know why<\/strong> he’s doing it and he couldn’t do what he is doing without them being complicit… and I guess they don’t care. <\/p>\n\n\n

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Narratives<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think back to the past three years. Does any of this seem familiar to you? <\/p>\n\n\n

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Deny<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You can find examples of this all over his social media accounts. He has never taken any responsibility or accountability for anything he has done. He’s denied dming women. He’s denied initiating contact. “Pfft. I don’t have to be kind to someone for a year to get nudes.”<\/em> He’s denied sexting. He’s denied having a girlfriend when asked by someone he’s sexting. “But I don’t?”<\/em>
When he was forced to admit the truth of the matter, those lies have all but been disregarded by him and his supporters. The narrative then became how clear he is about his boundaries and when\/where the dming and sexting was occurring. Then it became the denial of crossing boundaries and sexting while “on the clock.”
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Attack<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You can also find this all over his social media accounts. I’ve already used examples of how he and his followers attack and insult those who speak out against him. Even those who have been banned and haven’t spoken up get attacked<\/em>. He doesn’t name anyone specifically, but he doesn’t need<\/strong> to. You either know who he’s talking about, or you assume – which is just as bad because, as I’ve mentioned before, everyone just assumes he’s talking about whoever has been recently booted or has left. The leading questions, the subtweets, the pontifications on his streams. All attacks on the women who dare to find fault in him or his “community”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reverse Victim & Offender<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Again, countless examples of him playing the victim when these situations occur and attempting to turn everyone else into the offender. The false accusations and lies leveled at the women who speak out and those of us who support them. We are the “suspicious” <\/em>ones. We are the ones who “betray friendships<\/em>“. We are the ones who constantly harass and are obsessed because “we wanted him so badly and he said no<\/em>“. He’s the one being taken advantage of and sexualised<\/em>. We are rejected<\/em> and don’t understand consent<\/em>. How dare we. We are puritans<\/em> and we use mental health to further our agendas<\/em>. He’s “just a man<\/em>“, “I’m a piece of shit. I’m not perfect.”<\/em>
You only have to look at his twitter feed to see the supporters falling over themselves to offer him support and comfort because he’s being “harassed” <\/em>and “attacked” <\/em>by us “horrible, delusional individuals who can’t take no for an answer”<\/em>. They fall for the false narrative he’s been spinning for three years against countless women, and they help him attack.<\/p>\n\n\n

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Power imbalance. The topic noone from his camp wants to address, apart from arguing semantics or using mental health in a disgustingly twisted and misleading manner to, once again, imply we are removing people’s agency and that a power imbalance doesn’t even exist. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, newsflash. It does. Clearly some of his supporters don’t understand it at all but it plays a huge part and that’s exactly why it’s not being addressed in a straight-forward manner. If he admits to the fact that a power imbalance exists, all his arguments and all his supporters arguments are destroyed because he has already acknowledged that there are vulnerable women on his discord. He has already repeately accused us of being delusional\/crazy and unable to understand the concept of boundaries and consent. He has acknowledged that women constantly tell him he’s better than all the men they’ve known. Hell, even advertising his discord as a safe space, especially after<\/strong> this all came to light is enough to destroy his arguments if he acknowledges the existence of a power imbalance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can’t boast about the size of your fanbase and bemoan your “fame” in one breath and then deny the existence of a power imbalance in another. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, let’s break it down. We have an nsfw content creator who has a relatively large fanbase that consists mostly of women and nb folk. He has, in the past, made mention of the size of his fanbase and occasionally bemoaned his “fame” or “status” and we all know that fame = power. He has repeatedly acknowledged how popular he is among his fanbase, how much they support him, how much they do for him, how much they want to be with him. He humblebrags constantly about this.
He owns a space dedicated to himself which, in itself, grants a certain amount of inherent power. Nothing out of the ordinary there, though. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s where it gets dicey. His discord is promoted as a “safe space for women”. <\/em>Now, I’ve mentioned this a couple of times before but, when you advertise a space as something specific, in this case, “a safe space for women”<\/em>, you are obviously trying to appeal to a certain demographic. Women who are looking for that specific thing are going to be more inclined to join. What types of women are going to find the idea of an online “safe space” appealing? He’s also mentioned that his discord is a safe space for women who want to get into gaming<\/em>. This kinda implies that he’s offering women a space where they can escape the sexism, misogyny and toxicity often associated with gaming and usually perpetrated by men<\/em>. Great. Because, well, he’s not like that, right? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

His discord includes channels dedicated to self help and support. I don’t mean tech support, I mean personal and mental health support. He has access to these channels and he reads them. This gives him a personal insight into his supporters lives and issues that most men wouldn’t be privy to, and I feel like he uses his position as the “sole male voice”<\/em> on the discord to offer advice and endear himself to his supporters. He’s already acknowledged that many women view him as “kinder, gentler, more understanding and more attentive”<\/em> than any man they’ve known. They obviously trust his opinion. They feel “safe” <\/em>around him. So they are probably going to listen to any advice he gives, including “leave your husband” – which is all well and good until you take into account the fact he’s sexting a large portion of his fanbase. Is he sexting the women he’s telling to leave their husbands?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are also channels in his discord dedicated to nsfw topics, such as the nsfw self help channel where you can get sex advice and discuss masturbation, his lovense patterns, and the purchases you’ve made of the sex toys he promotes. Women are free to discuss their sex lives, their kinks and their desires without having to worry about creepy men listening. Because he’s not like other men, right? When it comes to the lovense patterns, initially you had to add him as a friend on the app in order to gain access to them. This was not required once the number of patrons grew, instead the patterns were made public. Due to the way the app works, if you hadn’t disabled the option, friends could see when you were online and if you were using a toy. This, of course, meant that if you had friended him, he would be able to see when you were masturbating<\/strong>. Fine, okay, that could be hot right? Apart from the fact this was never really explained in the discord<\/strong>. At least I certainly don’t remember it being discussed or pointed out as a “warning” to women in the discord. Feel free to correct me if I am mistaken. At any rate, I’ve been informed by multiple<\/strong> people that it was a common occurrence for him to pop into your lovense messages while you were masturbating to send an emoji or make a dirty comment. Which would be fine, if everyone was making an informed decision to have him do that.
I feel like, when it comes to certain things, some people seem to think blanket consent is implied. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just because you pay to support a nsfw content creator doesn’t mean you are paying to allow them access to all facets of you. For someone so big on his own boundaries being crossed, he seems to have difficulty understanding that this is a two-way street. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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