So I received some NGLs recently and just had a few things I wanted to say about them and some of the other things going on lately because, boy oh boy, a lot of things have gone on lately.

The following NGLs were all sent to me by the same person. Over a long period of time. I’ve addressed a couple of them already in my videos but I’m just gonna plonk them here and reply to them all as a group.

First of all, if you are finding it hard to dissociate the hateful anon accounts with “us all” then maybe you need to try a little harder. They are a third group that I get the privilege of separating myself from because I have literally nothing to do with them. See, contrary to popular belief, I’m actually not responsible for every living adult’s actions on social media.

For a bunch of people who like to bang on about personal responsibility, it’s interesting that you only apply those standards when they are convenient to you and yours.

What about the new anonymous accounts that have popped up recently? The fourth group. Are you having difficulty dissociating those from the rest? Or is that easier for you because they are supporting your favourite content creator? Can you really not see the difference between a group of people trying to expose a content creator’s lies and a couple of accounts wishing death on someone?

It’s odd that people pointing out and allocating “sides” have decided that there are only two distinct sides to this: you are either on his side or you are lumped into a group with everyone who has ever had an opinion on him, everyone who liked a tweet about him, anyone who has left, anyone he deems a threat, and the rest of the world.

Since you raised the topic of those hate accounts, I wanna say that I find it really interesting that they’ve popped up again just in time for you lot to come out of the woodwork with your own anonymous accounts and connect “us” to them using your flawed logic. I would love to know who is behind those hate accounts because it seems awfully convenient that they play right into his narrative that the people who leave or are banned are crazy, jealous, women. They actually give him a whole lot of ammo and I find it hard to believe someone could be that stupid, or crazy. I mean we are talking about people who have been lying dormant for how long?

You mention finding it interesting that the “one E-girl everyone’s targeting” is a Black woman. First of all, she was allegedly targeted by one anonymous hate account. Secondly, she’s not the only woman being targeted in this. For you to believe that, shows just how little you know, how closed your mind to information that doesn’t involve your friends is or that you only care about certain people in this. My friends have received death threats – I mentioned this over a month ago. Noone cared about any of that until someone close to him was receiving them. Several women have been targeted by various people during this. I’ve been targeted both by him and anonymous accounts. You are included by the way. Oh, wait, you thought you were somehow outside of all of this? What you are doing right now, by sending me constant anonymous messages making ridiculous claims about my character? That’s you targeting me. It’s also, quite possibly, libel because, unlike me, you have nothing to back up those claims you are throwing about. I am not racist. I do not associate with racists. I have not doxed anyone. I haven’t called anyone’s place of work. I don’t know where anyone on that discord works, nor do I care. I don’t even know where most of you are located.

Which brings me to my next point: the hate account/s seem to know an awful lot about the two women they are hating on on twitter. They obviously aren’t just random bitter ex-e-girls who were just recently booted. They are someone who was very close to those women or are still close to those women. Yes, it could be someone still in the discord hating on them and allegedly making calls to people’s places of employment. It’s an anonymous account. To be honest, as much as you all want to connect it to everything else happening because it suits the narrative you’re pushing perfectly, it seems much more like a personal grudge between two people more than anything else.

“Idk what kind of enemies you guys made but who else is getting these messages? I just don’t understand why anyone would have this much vitriol toward anyone at all”

That’s what his response was when approached about the anonymous death threats and hate my friends were all receiving. Apparently we “made enemies”. So I guess I’ll ask you the same thing, “idk what kind of enemies you guys made but who else is getting these messages?”

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Call to Action

Every time these anon hate accounts show up, I report them. So do my friends. It’s funny how a tweet from someone using the word “cunt” can be removed within a matter of hours, yet these accounts seem to last an awfully long time. It’s almost as though a horde of e-girls aren’t actually racing to report them. I feel like they’d be gone a hell of a lot faster if there was a “call to action”. You know, like when he points at people on TT that he doesn’t like and their videos are removed or bombarded. Weird.

Actually, I feel like there was a call to action, only the call to action was for his minions to make sure to associate “us” with those hate accounts. Once again muddying the water and lumping us all into the one pot of bullshit in an attempt to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes and confuse people.

So far you’ve accused me of: supporting racism, doxing, harassment, threatening people’s employment, oh and apparently I’m dumb. Yeah, I know you are using a vpn, honey. I’ve mentioned it before. I’m not sure what prompted you to bring up the vpn thing, perhaps some of my recent public tweets were a little too close to the truth for you? Could it be that I mentioned where some of the death threats came from? Or the fact a couple of my NGL’s have come from NYU? Do you have a friend who works there? Do you work there?

If you know me, which a lot of you do, you know these accusations are so far from the truth it’s laughable. I’ve been upfront and transparent about my feelings when it comes to that discord, it’s owner and the people he chooses to surround himself with since day one. I’m not using alt accounts to say my piece or attack people. Everything I’ve said you can see, it’s all out in the open. In fact, I suggest you go read my blog posts again. Refresh your memory on some of the things I have had issue with when it comes to him and his discord.

It’s interesting to me that sub-tweeting is so frowned upon by that discord yet it’s members seem really fond of attacking people via an anonymous app. “Say it with your whole chest” anyone? Not only do they use anonymous apps, they hide behind vpns to do their attacking.

There are so many cities to choose from yet you decided, earlier, to choose the city I happen to live in. Which just makes me think you’re a bit of an asshole. You think you are proving some kind of deluded point? You giggling with your friends behind the scenes while you type these up? *slow clap*

Speaking of NGL, loads of people are using the app right now. Why is it that I’m the only one getting these asshole questions and accusations? I feel like a certain someone thinks I am responsible for things I have nothing to do with, as though I’m sitting around orchestrating attacks against the discord or something. I hate to break it to you, but, when I’m on the net, I’m hanging out with my friends, playing games, chatting and occasionally wasting my time answering these asshole NGLs you lot keep sending me.

I really don’t know what is being said to you all, well, apart from the things I have been shown, but I’m not sitting around talking shit about women still on the discord. I mean, there’s the odd one who spouts really, really fucking inane, misguided crap on twitter, but I usually post about that to my account anyway. I don’t think people are stupid for remaining in that discord. I don’t think you “have no agency” or however else he was spinning it during his rants. I’m mostly sad that some of you still support him and support him quite vehemently. I’m sad because I know there are things you are all unaware of and, unfortunately, I can’t tell you. I’ve explained how things were for me both on that discord and since leaving. This is all my experience and things I know that I am able to share with you. It frustrates me every single day that I cannot share everything with you, even the things that directly involve me because they also happen to involve other people. As much as I would love to, I am not in the business of outing other people when I know damn well women are scared of the consequences and repercussions of talking about him and that place. This whole thing is just incredibly frustrating.

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Hide & Seek

Twitter seems to be flooded now with “anon” accounts jumping into the mix to defend him. Unfortunately, all of these anon accounts are doing a really good job of distracting people from a lot of important facts. Remember that little thing I mentioned earlier – power dynamics? This is someone who, by his own admission, thinks that by paying him you are granting him access to you.

Now you can claim lack of context or argue semantics all you like but that audio was made after people had accused EROS on twitter of sexting his patronage. That’s the context you are being intentionally obtuse about. Yeah, no shit he sounds “frustrated”. The thing he’s been lying about for two years just became public knowledge so he has to change his narrative. What a chore.
People have asked him about this several times yet he just scoffs and writes them all off as morons or unhinged individuals. Has he ever actually tried to change his behaviour? Of course not. he doesn’t think there is anything wrong with his behaviour. He doesn’t think it is “predatory” or manipulative. His words.

He’s not ‘predatory’ when he slides into your DMs, you’ve granted him permission to do so by becoming a member of the discord. You know, the discord that’s a “safe haven for women”. Don’t pretend that power dynamics aren’t a thing. You see it every single day on that discord. Women trying incredibly hard to impress a man they hardly know, women crying after gaming with him because he was unkind, women handing over loot they’ve earned in a game because he ‘asks’ them to and then sobbing about it later. Women ‘reporting’ on other women in that discord in a bid to court favour with him.
He knows the power he possesses in that place. He knows these women look up to him, they think he walks on water. He knows. And yet he doesn’t think he’s abusing that power by sliding into god knows how many women’s DMs and ‘testing the waters’? He thinks women who feel obligated to hand over items in a game and then cry about it afterward aren’t also possibly going to also feel obligated to go along with anything he does in a dm to make him happy or appease him? Please.

(Oh speaking of the game? His achievements in WoW? That was a group effort. He couldn’t have achieved that without you girls helping him. Letting him farm your keys for valor, giving him and his usual group your loot. So, when you pat him on the back and congratulate him, make sure you do the same to yourself and the rest of your guild because it’s as much your achievement as it is his.)

Now I’m not saying these women don’t have agency. Of course they do. But, and I’ve said this repeatedly, when you run a discord advertised as a safe haven for women online you are going to attract women who find the idea of a safe space appealing. You are going to attract vulnerable people and I know for a fact there are vulnerable people in that discord. And, again, power dynamics.

I’ve approached him in the past regarding things I had heard that had been being discussed outside the discord. Namely his conduct with a few of his patrons. Now, I’m not stupid, obviously he wanted those names and I gave him none. I played dumb. I’m not going to share the conversation, but his response categorically reinforced the fact he was being deceptive about his discord and his behaviour. I know other people who have approached him and then decided to leave after receiving his cut n paste spiel.

One of my friends summed the whole thing up really well,

“No matter if people ‘consented’ promising them safety and understanding and using that to get sexual gratification is abhorrent. He could have looked outside of patrons, he could have kept to the boundaries, or he could have been clear it wasn’t as safe as he made out. But it can’t be both.”

“This is why advertising it as a safe space and saying he has boundaries in place to protect everyone is so bad!! He tells you that it’s so safe and you are protected but he is the only one there asking anyone to engage in a personal relationship. The theory, according to his own rules, was that no engagement would lead to a personal relationship. HE breaks that rule. Other content creators block people who try, recognising that in a power dynamic like this they have responsibility to the people they say they are protecting and making safe.”

I don’t have an issue with people sexting. I don’t have an issue with someone owning a discord and getting their rocks off with some of the women who frequent it. My issue is, and always has been, with the deception. We have a discord owner who, for two years, has carefully curated an image of someone who frowns upon women being taken advantage of, openly criticises other content creators for treating their patronage in what he deems a sexist, inappropriate manner, repeatedly states that he has no interest in getting to know his patrons personally or intimately. He doesn’t want his patrons sending sexual dms. He feels used and sexualised, treated like a piece of meat. He decries the toxic, sexist male gamer mentality. He frowns upon romance novels for perpetuating age gap stereotypes where the female protagonist is 18 years old and the male a middle-aged, rich man. His discord is a safe space, a safe haven for all women and nb people. A safe space for women gamers. He supports all the right things and opposes all the wrong ones.

When, in actuality, he was doing the things he was criticising other content creators for. He was hiding the fact he was involved in sexting relationships with god knows how many of his patrons. These, again, are patrons who may have joined his discord because of how he was advertising it – and is still advertising it – as a safe haven for women. Now, I’m not saying everyone on that discord is vulnerable but there’s definitely a large portion who are, and don’t forget the power dynamic thing I mentioned earlier. Yeah, I’m gonna keep mentioning it.
If you think there is nothing wrong with what you are doing, why hide it? Why hide behind “secret” emoji signals or loud stretches so your girls know you are dtf or thinking of sex? Why lie to people who approach you to ask if what they are hearing is true? Why not tell the truth? Instead the narrative for two years has been to scoff at the accusations, to publicly denounce people who have left, to accuse everyone leaving of being upset he refused “their advances”. Unhinged, scorned women. Because he is just. that. irresistible.

Once his hand was forced, however, and he had to admit the truth, the narrative changed dramatically and his supporters don’t seem to be questioning that. The narrative is now “I am just a man, these relationships are consensual, I am allowed to sext people in my free time, of course I am going to build relationships with people”. Totally ignoring the power dynamic in play and totally ignoring the fact his whole thing up until then was that he wasn’t welcoming relationships with patrons. I’m not going to go into everything I have heard but let’s just say that what I have been told has ruined my time spent on those streams for good. It’s made me second guess every gasp or giggle I ever heard, every time anyone ever server muted in that discord. The loud stretches. The long breaks. Messaging people during stream. I’ve touched on this before in previous posts so I’m not going to rehash but I don’t understand why none of his supporters seem to care that the narrative has totally flipped since he was forced to admit he’d been lying. What was it he said about that other VA, again? Refresh my memory.

“Give a man a mask and he will show you his true face“

I’m going to address some things being said by the anonymous accounts and various people on twitter, but first I need to say that I don’t understand people hiding behind pseudonyms to defend someone they feel has been wronged. There’s a whole lot of hypocrisy and double standards going on right now. I know, I know, the excuse is “with all the doxing and death threats, you can see why people are hesitant to put their names out there”. But, really? You don’t see me hiding behind a pseudonym. My friends received death threats and anonymous hate way back when they left the discord. Nobody gave a shit back then. Suddenly people care because two people in his camp have allegedly received them?

Be honest. I don’t think you are scared at all. You are just comfortable hiding behind fake names. Just like every other internet troll that ever breathed. Unless, of course, you have reason to be worried?
If you genuinely believed your friend had done nothing wrong and you wanted to support them, you would say it with your whole fucking chest. This way, though, you can hedge your bets. Regardless of what happens, at the end of the day, you’ve put literally nothing on the line. You are perfectly safe. It just means you lack credibility and your words carry little weight.

Unfortunately your words do have reach because of the coordinated effort to retweet one another’s posts so I want to address one particularly upsetting pattern I’ve noticed from these anonymous accounts: victim blaming.

This section of the blog post has been edited to remove a large portion. Apologies if it reads a little disjointed as a result. – FB.

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Safe Haven for Whom?

Again with the safe and welcoming space. Saying it a hundred times won’t make it true.

I’m sure being blocked and kicked can feel like a betrayal to some, but a lot of the women who have left recently weren’t blocked or kicked, they simply made the decision to leave.

Personally, I didn’t feel betrayed because I wasn’t under the impression that I had a real friendship with him. Betrayed seems a little dramatic. I think “annoyed” works better. I know my eyes rolled a lot during my final conversation with him. I don’t believe I’ve ever diminished or dismissed my time in that server. While some of it wasn’t the greatest, I have, in the past, always maintained that I had a lot of fun gaming – mostly during the spontaneous late night sessions. Those were some of the funniest times I’ve spent gaming. It’s just a shame they’ve been tainted.

I can’t remember who these tweets were aimed at but I don’t really care. You are generalizing and speaking for people you have no right to be speaking for while you sit behind a pseudonym. Who are you?

It’s fairly obvious the anon accounts are trying to drown out certain voices and replace them with their own. It kinda feels like a coordinated effort. You might say that they have been forced into action because a couple of their “friends” have been attacked by those two hate accounts, but they aren’t just defending the two women who were attacked by those accounts. They are trying to poke holes in every single argument ever made against their favourite content creator while totally overlooking or misrepresenting the ones they know they can’t disprove or deny.

To be perfectly honest, these latest anon accounts that have popped up are all saying suspiciously similar things and a lot of their arguments and, in particular, the way in which they are arguing reminds me very much of a certain someone. Anyway, I’m not going to bother dissecting all the stupid shit I’ve been seeing from those anon accounts the past few days because I would put money on the fact he is behind at least one of the accounts and the rest are just his girls acting as mouthpieces or women trying to curry favour when, really, they are probably doing him a massive disservice by speaking out in the first place.

I’ll just leave you with a few choice comments from various anon accounts:

“Some of you may be confused” – Anon

Condescending much?
Yeah, you are glossing over stuff, cherry picking and throwing strawman fallacies all over the place. You’re also misquoting, spreading misinformation then not deleting it and you wonder why people might be confused? You know who else likes strawman arguments?

“Causing a scene” “Obsessing over the community you left” – Anon

Could you sound any more stereotypically male? Causing a scene. Really? Next you’ll be saying we are all unhinged *snort*

“I know you women love reading so read.” – Not-So-Anon

It’s great. You should try it some time.

“To go and now say that you are responsible for yourself so who gives a shit if he sexts people is fucking crap. If you’re an abuse survivor, you would’ve read his rules and thought that they were brilliant and you were comfortable with them, and therefore you were happy to join his discord et cetera, the problem is those rules are bullshit and therefore as a person engaging with him and his content, you don’t get to decide whether you are comfortable with the rules because they are not real. You are dangling safety in front of somebody when it’s not true, so how on earth can they ever be responsible for themselves when they are not the one that’s changing anything.”

“He asks for your socials, but there is absolutely no reason he needs to have them. Oh, he will say it is because people could post things about him, or share his content without permission, but the fact is he can’t be trusted to know your socials, not the other way around”

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Common Denominator

Let’s take a step back and take a look at everything that’s been happening over the past few years. We have a community where, almost like clockwork, something will happen that will be the catalyst for a large group of women either being banned or choosing to leave the discord. Once this happens, people notice and questions are asked. He will stand up on his soapbox and pontificate to his remaining followers about how hard done by he is, how people do this all the time. He lets people in, trusts them and they betray him. He tells us that these women who are gone were all banned for “good reason” and that they “don’t like being told no”. If the shit really hits the fan he will rant several times. Each time more and more of the women who have left lose more and more of their so-called friends. He might throw the odd charity stream. Everyone is after him. Everyone treats him terribly. He does nothing wrong and these women are just evil.

There’s been friends falling out, death threats, “friends” blocking “friends”, doxing, mean girl behaviour, toxic gaming, manipulation, people hiding behind anonymous accounts so they can hate on people or have their say without any repercussion from either side, there’s lying going on, people being told those of us who have left are “sus” or “unhinged”. People are being treated like social pariahs, accused of racism and all kinds of other disgusting bullshit.

In all of this mess, for the past three years, who has been at the centre of it?
The vast majority of women are telling you he is lying but, for some reason, so many of you are so eager to think we are all scum and, instead, believe the words of one man you don’t even fucking know.
Point me to any other VA who is consistently facing issues like this. Any.

Are we Done?

Are we? Because I would like for this to be the last time I feel compelled to respond to your inane fucking delusional NGL messages. I have friends I’d rather be chatting with, games I’d rather be playing and a boyfriend I’d rather be sexting in my free time.

I’m also pretty sure the guy you are so rabidly defending by attacking me via an anon app would probably prefer you shut the fuck up too. You aren’t doing him any favours by insinuating dumb shit about me. Then again, what do I know, maybe he’s behind all of this shit.

Really?
Who the FUCK are YOU?

truthseeker444
voiceofreason
hallowseve
Tspice
Makingdramaforbooksales
noteyebrowbaby
hallowsbutt
medusa
confused

factsoverfeelings – gave yourself away

I haven’t included toot because we all know who that is.

“DO BETTER”