The Truth Will Out

The point of this blog has always been to share my experiences while I was a member of the discord and to point out some of the hypocritical and harmful behaviour going on behind closed doors. My aim was to open some eyes and, potentially, save some of you from being taken advantage of by a person you trust. It wasn’t entirely selfless, though; early on, I also needed a place to vent.

There’s a lot of opinions being posted at the moment, some of which are disingenuous and have been intentionally framed in a way to mislead and detract. There are anonymous accounts being created purely to feed the narrative and to confuse the issue by employing manipulative conversational tactics similar to those of the man they are so fervently defending. Posting strawman arguments, cherry-picking or simply resorting to lying in a desperate attempt to refute the claims being made.

I stopped engaging with the anon accounts a while back because, simply put, it was a waste of time engaging with people being so obviously insincere. I also have no interest in arguing with the man himself, which is exactly what it felt like I was doing whenever I responded to those accounts – one in particular.

I appreciate the need for anonymity when discussing sensitive issues, and for those of you who are legitimately afraid to come forward for fear of backlash from his community or the man himself. It’s a shame it’s necessary at all, but it’s perfectly understandable considering how people have been treated both recently and in the past for speaking out against him or his server.

As for the anonymous accounts being used to defend his actions and attack those of us who have been willing to speak out about him? I don’t, for one second, believe the excuses being fed to us. I believe certain situations were fabricated so that they could justify their need to hide behind anonymity. I also believe many of you would be surprised to find out who is actually behind those accounts. Do I know for certain, myself? No, though I could make an educated guess.

What I do believe, however, is that there is no way he would allow those accounts to say the things they are saying or interact and engage with “us” the way they have been if he didn’t want them to. If he wasn’t “signing off” on everything that was being posted. He would shut that shit down instantly if he didn’t want it happening.

Personally, I question why someone wouldn’t be willing to put their own reputation or name on the line to defend a person they care about – especially if they truly believe that person is being wronged in some way. I don’t believe those accounts are scared, nor do I believe they are worried about “us”, they simply don’t want you to know who they are because they know, the second they reveal themselves, they will lose what little credibility they may have had. It’s easy to lie when no one knows who you are. I could easily claim to be being victimized and attacked by people I don’t want to engage with, while simultaneously attacking them using a fake account. If it is him and his groupies behind the accounts, well, it’s obvious to me why they are anon. It kinda flies in the face of what he always says about never giving us another thought once we are blocked. Not a good look, right. We are supposed to be the ones obsessed with him, remember, not the other way around.

I put my reputation on the line from the very beginning. Even though my friends were receiving anonymous threats at the time. Real ones. I’ve been lied to, lied about by both him and his people. I’ve had people I thought were friends block me or just stop interacting with me because they were too scared to be seen doing so. I’ve had girls contact me under false pretenses, some under the guise of friendship or to commiserate. Some have shit-talked the discord to me or the people in it and then proceeded to stop following me or block me on their socials. I’ve had girls contact me to try and get information from me. Hate to break it to you, but I know what you’re doing.

It mattered more to me to be seen as a credible source of information rather than “another anonymous account spreading rumours”. I knew that the information I was able to share wouldn’t be enough to stop what he was doing, but I knew that I was well regarded enough in his community that people would be more likely to listen than to automatically dismiss me as just another “jealous woman who couldn’t take no for an answer.”

With that said, I am hoping that you will listen to me once more, because I have a request and an invitation.

My request is quite simple. Don’t just take people at their word. Hell, even me. If you have questions about anything I’ve said, ask me. I have no problem with people genuinely wanting clarification about things I’ve said. I might be hesitant at first, but that’s because of how I’ve been treated since this started.

Speak to one another about the things you are experiencing and witnessing. If you are booted for trying to make sure you are in a safe space, then it’s not a safe space.

Anyone who truly cared about women’s safety online would be encouraging you to investigate and ask questions.

They would be encouraging you to protect yourself. If you are worried about being booted for asking questions, if you are worried members of the community will “tattle” on you, then you are not in a safe space.

For the love of everything holy, ask questions.

If something seems off, trust your gut.
How is the server safe? Safe for whom? Is it really a safe space for women?
How do you explain the lying & condemnation of other content creators for inappropriate behaviour with their patrons?
How do you explain the change in narrative when he was forced to admit to sexting many of his patrons?
Why the need for such secrecy amongst his supporters? Why are we encouraged not to speak with one another or discuss booted members? Why do so many members constantly report the most trivial things about other members of the server?
Why are people treated like social pariahs when they are booted or they leave?
Why do so many people value one man’s word over that of countless women?
Why suddenly delete almost a year’s worth of streams?
Why has he gone through 5 servers in three years?
Why hasn’t he taken legal action against anyone in three years?

I know I can’t force you to believe the things I am saying and I know it’s frustrating when you want more information but people aren’t willing or able to give it. I know that all anyone wants is screenshots. Unfortunately, when dealing with personal conversations and situations, it’s not as simple as just slapping down some screenshots. All I can say is that there is a reason that place lost it’s charm for me and there is a reason that I have taken the position I have when it comes to him and his behaviour toward his patrons. You can choose to believe me or not. That’s your prerogative.

For those of you who do believe the things being said and don’t have someone to speak to, you have a couple of options. There is a twitter page, set up by Pickles, dedicated to giving people a safe space to speak anonymously through NGLs. You can find it here if it’s something that interests you.

If you would like another option, or what you have to say is too long for NGL, I’ve set up an email account. You can email me anonymously, or not, it’s up to you. What you say will not be shared with anyone unless you give me permission to do so.

If you agree, I might also consider publishing your experience on here anonymously – providing the details you give me are substantiated in some way (you can redact your identity if necessary). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting I won’t believe you; I am just reluctant to share anything at all to this page that cannot be substantiated. To date, everything I’ve said on this blog that isn’t just my opinion can be backed up with proof. I don’t want to start posting unsubstantiated information to this blog and open myself up to being attacked by his supporters because, the second I post something I can’t prove, they will use it as an excuse to dismiss everything I’ve ever said. While I do want to offer people somewhere to share their experiences safely, I don’t need that kind of headache. Seriously, some of the arguments I’ve gotten into in the past few months have been mind-numbingly absurd.

I know that a lot of you have had issues with members of the server. While I can appreciate that, as I have had my own, I’m not going to be publishing any personal disagreements you might have with other women on his server. This is an offer for those of you who think your experience will allow other women to make a more informed decision about joining his community.

Anyway, I hope this helps some of you.

Contact me by email here
Or my NGL here