A special place…

It’s astonishing to me that so many women would unfollow their “friends” on social media because a male VA, who is clearly problematic, threatened to remove, block or ban anyone associating with his detractors.

From his perspective I get it.
From theirs, not so much.

I think, at this point in time, if you are still supporting him despite all the information that has come to light, you either don’t care, or you have fallen for his lies and machinations.

If you do believe his lies, that this is all about rejection, you are woefully mistaken. Many of the women who have left his community had plenty of access to him.  Or, at least, they had access to the version of him that he presented in order to get what he wanted from them.

I know that some women have expressed that it’s okay to continue supporting him, to unfollow them publicly yet still be “friends” behind the scenes, and that’s their prerogative. I’m not one of those women.

While my instinct is to offer people grace because that community can be toxic, and I do believe it did a number on most of us, I feel like everyone who was around last year knows enough by now that they can’t feign ignorance; and to make the conscious decision to stay in a community run by someone who treats women so badly is a slap in the face to those who have left due to his treatment of them.

I could, perhaps, understand it a little if there had been some kind of acknowledgement or apology to his patrons, but there has been nothing but a gross smear campaign levelled at his detractors. His OGs use anonymous accounts to attack those women who come forward. If he didn’t want them speaking on his behalf, he’d rein them in and they would do as they were told. They didn’t become his OGs by refusing him or holding him to account, after all.

Basically, we have a male content creator hiding behind his OGs and friends, while using them to attack and undermine his victims. For him to do it himself would look incredibly bad but it’s okay when women attack one another, right?
There’s a reason women from the discord use private means to contact us about their experiences with him. Why would any woman want to come forward publicly when his entire community either ostracizes them or goes on the attack?

Part of me is now glad that the vast majority of people unfollowed me back when I started speaking about my experiences on his discord and everything that followed since being removed. I’ve only lost a couple of followers since his latest announcement, with one or two magically pre-emptively unfollowing me a short while beforehand (and lying about it).

I’ve had women approach me to “vent about the discord”. They offload all kinds of opinions about him and his community to try and ingratiate themselves to me. They ask questions about his girlfriend, questions about him, the OGs, his friends, my ex-friend. They make leading, judgmental, statements about his physicality and they make pointed remarks and ask loaded questions about the documents that were circulating months ago.

When I’m not forthcoming enough, and they realise the conversation is mostly one-sided, they inevitably drop the façade and go back to him and his community, where they giggle and fawn as though they weren’t just talking shit about him days earlier. They try to use me. They try to use my friends. They take advantage of our kindness and concern for the women in his community. To what end? So they can report back to him? So they can catch me in a lie? Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not the one lying here.

How many of you, still supporting him, have looked at those documents that circulated? How many of you shared them? How many of you sit around, after giggling with your friends over the documents you helped disseminate, and post hypocritical comments, accusing us and other people of the very things you yourselves are guilty of?

We are grown women. Yes, some of us are young, and though some of us don’t speak latin, we all should possess the skills required for critical thinking. So, while my instinct is to give people the benefit of the doubt, I’m tired of the lies and I’m fast approaching the point where I believe that, despite what you say, most of you simply do not care about other women. If you choose to discard friendships in support of a male stranger who has repeatedly lied to cover up his sexual manipulation of his patrons, then you aren’t the kind of person I would want as a friend anyway.

Contact me by email here
Or my NGL here